So our dog has a barking problem. If he’s out on a walk or anything like that he’s perfectly well behaved, but if he’s at home he has this compulsion to “defend his territory” against, well, everything. “Everything” typically takes the form of neighbors pulling into their driveway, kids playing in the yard behind us, or random critters wandering through the yard at 3:00 in the morning. Any of these scenarios plus any of a dozen others will trigger a barking frenzy that can last 10 to 15 minutes if not interrupted. Obviously less than ideal.
So today we got him a bark collar. We opted for a version that would spray citronella in his face when he barks rather than shock him, and we don’t intend for him to wear it all the time, but I already think it’s going to work. I can only imagine what was going through his head when we first put it on:
(Spoken with the voice of Dug from Pixar’s “Up)
“Ooh! Ooh! What is that? It’s in the type of bag that treats and toys come out of so it must be good! Oh look! I can wear it! It is heavy but I love it because it is mine and I can wear it!”
“Wait! What is that? That is the man next door that I bark at from my yard because I do not want him in my yard! I will go bark at him to keep him out of my yard!”
“Bar-HOLYCRAPWHATINTHEWORLDWASTHATTHINGTHATJUSTSPRAYEDMYFACE?”
“That was strange. I do not think I like that thing that just sprayed my face. Still, I must go bark at the man to keep him out of my yard.”
“Bar-AH! AGAIN WITH THE SPRAYING IN THE FACE!”
“There seems to be an odd correlation between my barks and the spraying in my face that I do not like. That is odd. Still, the man must be barked at.”
“Ba… you know what. Nevermind. The man can have the stupid yard.”
Needless to say, this was an entertaining thought process to watch. 
